Will I Lose Them?
by Yuki of the Snow
Summary: Formerly A Firefly's Pain. Hotaru has lost everything dear to her, so she decides that it’s time to go home. But home is just the impression left on her. Her bro isn’t all that mindful of her and the only person that even remotely notices her is Trowa.
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: Me no own, so you no sue!_

_This is my second fic. My other one is on hiatus because I have lost all interest in it. Also, if you like poetry, please look at what I have written._

_Full Summary: Hotaru has lost everything dear to her, so she decides that it's time to go home. But home is just the impression left on her. Her bro isn't all that mindful of her and the only person that even remotely notices her is Trowa. Heero and that others just think of her as a casualty, but what can you do when you can barely feel your heart beat?_

Chapter #1

A girl with ebony hair was walking down the street. The ebony hair went down her back until it reached her knees, even though it was in a really high ponytail. Her hair shone in the sun as if it were the brightest thing on earth, yet the darkest at the same time. She had grown it out over the years, and it was even more beautiful than it was before. The young girls violet eyes seemed to hold a painful secret, yet no emotion in those large orbs. The violet of her eyes was dulled by a dark color forming in the middle of her eye.

"Hmmm…" wondered the girl, "I wonder why the girls wanted to see me? Usually they just ignore me." The girl was still in deep thought as she walked up the immeasurable height of stairs that led to the Hikawa Shrine. She had been called by the inner senshi. They said that they wanted to talk to her about her powers, if you could even call it that. Still though, they wouldn't want to talk about just that.

"What took you so long Hotaru!" yelled a girl with long violet-black hair. Her dark eyes were burning with an inner rage. It was Rei, but why was she transformed? Wait…something was definitely wrong here. Her senshi uniform still had the red trimming everywhere, but the body suit was black, along with her gloves.

"Let's just get this over with and kill her!" yelled a tall brunette. It was Mako! She was transformed too though…what was going on?

"What are you talking about, Makoto?" asked Hotaru as calmly as she could. She knew this was coming from the time that her foster parents died, but how could it be this soon? Her fate wasn't supposed to come until their ruler died, but what if…no…Usa-chan couldn't have turned on her, could she?

"We can no longer accept you as one of us. Your strengths are based on what we fight against. We can not accept that fact," replied a girl with short blue hair. Ami? Ami knew that she couldn't help her powers, but then why did she want to destroy her for what she had no control over. Wait. Control…that's it! They didn't think she could control her strengths.

"Whatever. I don't care any more. You only accepted me because Michiru, Setsuna, and Haruka thought of me as their child. I knew you never cared enough to truly be my friend." What Hotaru said, she knew was only partly true. She had thought that they were her friends before and ignored the fact that they always hurt her mentally and not physically as to make it unknown to the outers. They had only accepted her because of the outers, but she figured that they didn't like her after they died in the plane crash. The inner senshi would push her around or ignore her. Things had not been going her way for a long time, but that was about to change.

"Goodbye then," whispered the senshi of Saturn as she disappeared to the time gates. She wouldn't take it anymore, and if they wanted her dead, they would have to find her somewhere else. The only thing was, she didn't know where that somewhere else was.

"I know Setsuna isn't here with me," Hotaru whispered in the darkness of the gates, "But she did leave me a small gift."

Hotaru lifted the gift high in the air as it began to glow. It was a black keyshaped staff like the one Pluto held, but on the top there appeared to be the top of a glaive, but it had a black sphere in the center of the G shape. The intricate designs along the black handle gave it the appearance of a key and that was what it truly was. It would take her through the time gates, and to the world she was borne in, the world where her family was, the world that was her destiny.

Hotaru thrust the key into a small hole next to the gates, "Take me back to my brother, in the world of the machines!" As soon as she yelled that, a swirl of lavender mist swirled around her and pushed her into the gates. It shoved her and persuaded her by clumping around her legs, even though she needed no persuading. Anything was better than the world that she was living in.

Black swirls whirled around her as she passed by countless doors with different symbols on them. She finally reached the very last door at the end with the symbol of a black 16-shooter. She pushed the doors to the world open as she flew the through time and space. As soon as it began though, it stopped, but so did her reality. And that was when it hit her…she left the door open…

_Anyway, Hotaru blacked out sooo…you will have to find out what happens next time._

_Please Review!_


	2. Reunions?

Chapter #2

Disclaimer: Me no own.

"I can't believe I'm finally here!" Hotaru said in a hoarse whisper. She couldn't wait to see her brother again, but there was a slight problem with that. He probably wouldn't care to see her. She _was_ always the one in the back watching everyone else play. She would ask to play every time, but her sisters always said no, so she just quit talking around her family.

Her happiness died down as soon as she realized that her brother would not care. He didn't even know what she looked like any more after Setsuna died. The change in her was great, yet so was her personality. She used to be one of those fun-loving girls like her so-called friends, but now she was a very quiet girl. She would have random outbursts, but she was very quiet most of the time. It was rare that you saw her talking to many people all at once. Popularity never did suit her. Being fake was never what she wanted to be, even though that was what she had been almost all of her life.

Hotaru started to walk towards the mansion that she knew her brother would be in. "I hope he knows who I am…" she wondered aloud. When the mansion came into view, you knew he was there because of all of the maguanacs roaming the grounds. They were always where her brother was. I kind of creeped her out. They acted like stalkers, always trying to know where her brother is and what he's doing.

When Hotaru made it up to the gates one of the maguanacs asked her who she was. They were not willing to take any chances after the last wars. There was always going to be one assassin or more after the Winner heir.

"I am Makkura Hotaru Winner. Is my brother here?" she asked already knowing the answer. Her brother was here. Why else would the maguanacs be wandering around?

"Miss Makkura, I have not seen you in a long time. Yes, your brother is inside. Would you like to show you into the mansion so you may find him? He is in the music room trying to teach one of his friends to play the violin. But he isn't having much luck with mister cold stony," was the honest reply of the lead maguanac, Rashid.

'God, now I remember who this guy is. He is the baka that won't shut up when I want him to! I hope I can get by without seeing him for a while,' was all that filled her mind. Hotaru never really had liked Rashid for some reason. It was odd, because everyone else seemed to like him.

Hotaru walked past him as he continued to talk to the air. It was time to go see her brother. When Hotaru walked inside the, you saw the same bright walls and cream colored stairs. She cringed at the sight of all the bright areas in the house. Dark places would be so much nicer. Especially when she got black spots in her vision every time it was too bright.

She started walking to the music room and slipped in unnoticed. Hotaru always was good at hiding and sneaking around. Only her brother would be able to find her, but then again, he probably didn't know her anymore.

_Change POV to Quatre_

'Please Heero! Why won't he even try if he was the one that asked me to help him? Ala, help me!' pleaded a bleach blond haired boy whose bangs that fell near his crystal blue eyes. He was a lot smaller than his two companions. His other companions had larger builds, while he still looked to be younger than them.

An auburn haired boy stood of to the side as his 'bang' fell into his face. The one visible green eye held a small look of amusement as he laughed at his friends. He had loosened up quite a bit after the war. He no longer just sat there and stayed quiet.

'Wait a second, something isn't right,' he thought as he looked around the room. In the corner near the door he saw a small teenage girl. She had black hair with a violet tint that reached her waist, and violet eyes tinted with black. The girl was just slightly smaller than Quatre. She appeared to be watching the blondes every move. Quite odd in his opinion, but she must be no threat if the maguanacs had let her in. 'Let's just see what happens'. He turned away and watched to see if his friends would ever notice the newcomer.

The brown haired boy with Prussian blue eyes surveyed the room with a trained eye. He noticed nothing weird, but something just didn't feel right. What was he doing here again? Why did he even ask Quatre to teach him violin? Oh, yeah, he had been bored. He needed to learn to control his random thoughts. They seemed to be popping up quite a lot more since the wars had stopped.

Quatre gave up and went over to the guy laughing on the sidelines. That was when he noticed her. With black hair that fell to the waist, violet eyes that held so much pain…wait, pain? It was his sister, but what had happened. Her clothes weren't that same lavender they used to be. She was wearing a black halter top that showed off a black stud in her belly button. Her leather pants were tight, but not too tight. She had on combat boots and a studded bracelet that gave her a punk/Goth appearance. Large earring dangled from her ears and hit her shoulders. This was not the same Hotaru that he knew.

"Hotaru?" asked Quatre in a weak voice. When did she get here? Hadn't she disappeared many years ago? Why would she return here?

She stepped out of the shadows into the view of everyone in the room. The maguanacs that passed the door all looked in. What was a strange girl doing in the house? Why would Rashid let a stranger in without everyone else's knowledge?

_That is where I stop. What do you think happens? It may surprise you, or it may not. I don't have it planned yet. It is longer than the first chapter and I hope that it is better. I am mad! How could I only get one review? Please review this time._

_Silver Sailor Ganymede: Thank you for being the only one to review._


	3. Makkura is my name

_Quatre is going to be a little bit off in this story. I haven't mentioned why yet, but have you noticed that two of the G-boys are missing? Also, he is just getting to know his sister since he ignored her almost all of his life, but she still loves him anyway, and he her, even if they don't show it._

"Sorry Quatre. You are thinking of the wrong person. The Hotaru that you are thinking of is somewhere in America. She was supposed to get her degree in fashion designing. I am your other sister, Makkura Hotaru Winner," said the newly named Makkura.

"Wait, Makkura? I thought you were on one of your missions in…" Quatre trailed off remembering the fact that his friends were in the room and he'd be screwed if they found out about Makkura. She would surely kill him.

"I was, but Doctor P died. I have no more need to be there. My comrades went over and decided that being good wasn't the way they wanted to be," said Makkura, totally ignoring the fact that Quatre had practically spilled her whole secret. She was happy because now she knew that Quatre remembered her, even though he never thought that she would come back.

Since he was tired of watching from the sidelines and wondering about this so called Dr. P, Heero finally decided to show what was on his mind. The only problem was he did it in the most intimidating way he knew. He pulled out his gun, "Who are you and who do you work for?" Heero seemed quite glad that he could use it after such a long time. After the wars, everyone had made him put the gun away every time he got to use it, but now was free time.

"I already said who I was, but who I work for…is dead. I work for no one but myself now. There is no use to ask that question anymore. By the way, why are you pointing your gun at me if it isn't even loaded? Besides, I am no threat to you."

"Shimatta!" swore Heero. She wasn't supposed to be able to see that. It hadn't been loaded all those times that he pointed it at his comrades, but they were never able to figure that out. How could this person figure it out? She must have had special training or something.

As if reading his thoughts, she spoke, "I had training in all areas to make sure I knew when an enemy was coming at me or to figure if they were bluffing."

As Heero was fuming, Trowa decided that it was time to speak. Maybe Heero would forget about it, but that was unlikely. Heero was one of those people who could hold a grudge for quite a long time if he wanted to. "I'm Trowa Barton. I hope that I am able to get to know you better Makkura. Don't mind Heero over there. He just isn't used to being shown up by anyone, especially girls."

"So what if I'm a girl. That doesn't make a difference in my performance so why should he care?" answered Makkura. Then she remembered something. "Hey Quatre, I don't have a room here and I was wondering if I could get one.

"I'll see what I can do," said Quatre as if it was a hotel. She and Quatre didn't know each other that well. Makkura had always been in the background watching as her sisters played with Quatre. All that Quatre knew was that she existed, not her personality. The only way was to get to know her, but she wasn't exactly showing much of a personality.

"I can take her to a room in the northern wing of the house. I don't mind if she sleeps in my wing of the house," volunteered Trowa seeing that Quatre was a little bit uncomfortable. Trowa also figured that Heero would kill him if he put her in the one empty wing that had belonged to…some friends…

"Are you sure? You wouldn't mind helping her with room decoration?" asked Quatre even though Trowa hadn't volunteered for that.

"You don't have to worry about that," Heero cut in, "We are going to the Peacecraft academy. Relena needs guards for some reason. It appears that terrorists are going to be attacking the Sanc kingdom some time soon. There isn't a war this time though, just some solders left over that want revenge."

"Okay. When do we leave?" asked a slightly unnerved Quatre. Like the others, he wasn't crazy about seeing Relena. They had guarded her one time after the wars before this, and she had dyed her hair a not pink color that made them sick. She also tried to seduce Heero which ended up making them the real terrorists.

"We leave now," was all that Heero said as he walked out of the house and got into his car. The others would have to drive themselves, but before he took off, Quatre jumped in. 'Why is Quatre acting so weird? Could this new girl be the cause?'

"I guess that they left us behind. C'mon Makkura. You can choose the car," said Trowa as he started walking towards the garage. When they got there, Makkura saw an array of different cars. One stood out above the others though. It was just a small black convertible. What was cool about it though, was the indigo flames that were painted along the bottom edges. Behind that car, there was a small trailer that held two motorcycles with the same design on them. They were going in that one, and there was no question about that.

After Makkura had gotten into a small argument about who was going to drive, they decided to just take the bikes and have one of the maguanacs bring the car later.

On the bikes there could be no talking so the ride to the Sanc Kingdom was a quiet one. When they reached the Sanc Kingdom, they found out that Quatre would be back in a week or so. He had been called away on a business trip that had to deal with the fortune he had inherited from his father or something along those lines.

Makkura didn't care though. She wasn't big on her brother or any of his friends. Trowa seemed nice enough, but how did she know that they wouldn't turn their backs on her like the senshi did? She was afraid of rejection now, so it would be harder to stay friends with people. She would not get close to any of them until she knew for sure that she could trust them.

Makkura was startled out of her reverie when Trowa told her that they would be in the same dorm room. Makkura had hoped that she would be by herself so she could sneak out and play her time flute so she could speak to Setsuna-mama, but it appeared that things would not be that easy. She doubted the thing would even work without someone catching her. Her life as going downhill fast and there was nothing that she could do to stop it.

"Whatever," was all Makkura could reply with. She did not want to seem weak and let people in to help her. They would only mess with her head like everyone else in her past had.

As Trowa and Makkura started walking to dorm 305, Trowa spoke up, "You know, you remind me a little bit of Heero when he was fighting the war. He never told anyone how he felt, and the only time he laughed was when he killed someone. Why do you act so much like him if you weren't fighting in the war?"

"I have been fighting my own war, along with many others. None of the wars I have fought in took over this universe. They only took over mine and my…friends," Makkura spat out those words like they were poison on her tongue. 'What could make her hate her friends so much?' was what ran across Trowa's mind.

"Alright, I can see that you aren't willing to talk about your past, but could you at least become our friend? I know that I've only known you for about a day, but I would like it better if I could actually talk to you and know that you are willing to listen----"

Trowa was about to finish talking when something pushed him on top of Makkura. Whatever it was was soon to be in a lot of pain. You never wanted to get Makkura mad. When you did, there could be problems.

_In case you had trouble understanding what I was talking about, here is a little dictionary thing. It is really unorganized, but I'll fix it…eventually._

_Dr P is sailor Pluto_

_Makkura means total darkness_

_Trowa is out of character because I decided that he should loosen up a little. Add the fact that the wars are supposedly over._

_Hotaru was 16 when I set this up, so Hotaru can drive, even though she should have an adult or something with her._

_The time flute is an instrument to contact the time guardian, even if she is dead._

_I am not sure what dorms look like so I am just guessing. They will be two bedrooms, with one person in each room. There is one bathroom, and a kitchen and living area._

_Think of that killjoy Mistress Nine. Makkura got some of her personality traits when she was destroyed._

_Thanx to:_

_Silver Sailor Ganymede: I am glad that you liked it. I know that you've updated, I have just been really busy trying to get some stories out._

_Airlady: I'm glad that you think this story will be good._

_Hoshiko Megami: What does Hoshiko mean? Anyway, thanks for the review._

_HarpyGirl91: I wouldn't have it any other way. Why do you think that she is spending all of her time with him?_

_QOL: Thank you for telling me how to spell it. I hope that you keep reviewing._

_ToraTigera: I don't think that anyone had made Taru Quatre's sister either, but I wanted to do something slightly authentic. I tried to make the chapter longer._


	4. A Pained Soul

_I'm just warning you that the characters are OOC. Umm…this whole thing is basically a cat fight so I am not sure if you people would be interested._

When Makkura looked up, she saw one of the most hated people in the universe and many dimensions out there. It was Rei Hino, otherwise known as Sailor Mars. How could Rei find her? She was in another dimension. They could not get to her unless…oh, shoot…she left the door open. How could she forget that she left it open!

"Thanks for the little arrangement at the gates, Taru-chan. You made it quite easy for us to find you. You could have at least opened the other doors open to make it harder for us," she said with much more than a hint of venom in her voice. If she could have killed Makkura, she would have, Trowa could even sense it.

"Who is this Makkura? You don't seem to like each other very well," asked Trowa while stating the obvious at the same time. It was slightly unnerving that it was him of all people that would do that. He was usually the one that knew when he shouldn't be stupid. He thought this was a game, but it was far more than a game.

"This is one of my so-called friends, and thank you for stating the obvious," Makkura also had venom lacing her voice. She didn't need another nuisance, but that was what Trowa was turning out to be. What would happen if he found out about the senshi, or what she had? Would he abandon her like her old friends had, or would he accept her? She was going for the former. That was an even better resolve than the last one she had. That would be the reason she would close herself off from the G-boys.

"I would suggest you go away, right now. Your mommy is calling," sarcasm dripped from those words as they were said. It was the best retort that Makkura could come up with at the moment. Her rage just seemed to be taking control.

"Yours is too! Oops, I forgot, both of your mommies are dead, aren't they? Want to know the reason why? We didn't need them in our group of friends anymore," spat Rei. She was hinting at something that would always be lurking in the back of Makkura's heart, and she didn't need it bubbling up to the surface.

Makkura's eyes darkened to almost pitch black. It was much darker than her normal violet color. Her world was coming crashing down on her just because of one simple mistake she had made, and that mistake wasn't planning on staying in the past for very long. "Go back home Rei," was all Makkura could get out. She did not want to cry, especially in front of Rei or Trowa. There was no way that she was going to seem weak in front of anyone, especially them.

"Fine, I will see you again though. We will kill you for betraying Serenity and being what you are, even if you can't help it," was all that was said as Rei stalked off so she could use a portal to get back to her home dimension. Even she wasn't stupid enough to do anything in front of a 'civilian'.

"What was that about?" asked Trowa in a slightly hushed tone. He was not in the mood to be yelled at by Makkura. He especially didn't want to get her any angrier than she was. He looked at her again and saw that tears were coursing down her face as she tried to brush them away, but they only came faster. It was near dinner time, so people started coming into the halls. They all looked at Makkura like she was crazy. It wasn't often you saw anyone crying anywhere. They usually cried when no one else was around.

Trowa grabbed Makkura's hand and ran into the dorm room that belonged to them. He knew how much it would damage her social status at the school. It wasn't that important to him, but he wasn't sure how much Makkura cared about her rep. The girls here were much meaner because they were all rich snobs. The guys here would laugh and push her around because they would think that she was weak. Trowa was probably too late in getting her out of that, but it was a fair try. He knew it would give her an easier time with the few people who hadn't seen her.

Makkura kept crying, she didn't care that Trowa saw. She just couldn't take it anymore. She didn't cry when her foster parents died, she didn't cry when anyone died or she was hurt by her friends. She just couldn't stop. It was time to just let out all of her feelings, and then she would just go back to being the stoic and temperamental Makkura.

Makkura thought back to the time that Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna died. It was in a car crash.

_Flashback_

_Makkura watched as her foster parents drove around the circuit of the racing track a few times. Haruka-papa had wanted to get a feel for what she would be racing on the next day. It was the world championship race, so she wanted to have a slight advantage. Setsuna and Michiru had decided to go as well, but Makkura felt uneasy going around the track. She never had a problem before, but something was looming over her head that made her feel slightly more uneasy than ever before. It felt like death in the air. It just didn't feel right._

_As the car went for a second spin around the track, a black Mercedes rammed into the side, Makkura screamed. How could this happen? No one was supposed to be on the track besides them. She ran up to the two cars and saw that the Mercedes was empty, but when she looked into her parents' car, she almost screamed again. She was about to cry, but couldn't. She couldn't mourn. They could still be alive…right?_

_Her parents were all in the car. The side had been smashed in which caused immediate death to the driver and the person in the backseat. Her Michiru-mama who was in the passengers seat also died though. Her ribs broke and one went straight through her heart, or at least that is what the doctor said. Doctors could be liars when it came to kids. It was probably something much, much worse._

_Makkura never cried then, but she did wonder. The car looked exactly like Mamoru's, but it could be just a coincidence. Plenty of people had that car, but that thought stuck in her head like glue. Why hadn't she checked the license plate?_

_End Flashback_

Makkura fell asleep crying, hoping that she would never wake up, but Trowa would make sure that never happened. He wanted her to be happier, but didn't know how to do that. All he could do was try.

_How did you like it? Was it good or bad? I would like at least 5 reviews, and then I will be happy._

_Thanks to:_

_QOL: I continued, so you don't have to worry. I'm trying to put a twist on things instead of having everything cliché._

_Taeniaea: Sorry if I spelled your name wrong. I'm glad that you liked it._

_Sakuracheery2: I updated! YAY!_

_Harpygirl91: I thought so too._

_Hoshiko Megami: Thanks for telling me what your name meant. I updated!_

_Airlady: I might tell more later in the story, but right now I'm trying to figure out a plot. I know that the senshi are going to attack, but I don't know if they are being controlled yet._


	5. Growing Anticipation

_Hi everyone. Guess what? I think that I'm actually getting somewhere with this story! YAY! If you didn't notice, I'm adding a lot more detail to this story so there is going to be an extra scene in this chapter._

Makkura's eyes slowly opened as light filtered through the black blinds that went over the window. She slowly sat up as she took in her surroundings. She was in a queen bed with crimson covers and many odds and ends were around the room. What surprised her though was that it was all hers. Did Trowa unpack everything for her? No, he couldn't have. Nobody was ever that nice…were they? Had she just been hanging around with the wrong people? She was interrupted from her musings by none other than Trowa.

"Glad to see that you are awake. I was wondering if you would ever decide to get up. If you don't mind me asking, why were you crying so much when that girl insulted you? I mean, no one else would have cried that much. Didn't your parents die a long time ago?" said Trowa while still trying to be considerate of Makkura's feelings.

Makkura looked at him for a little while until she saw the sincerity in his eyes. He hadn't meant to pry. He just wanted to know a fact. "Umm….it was my foster parents that died. All three of them," said Makkura, deciding not to elaborate any further. That's when she finally noticed that box in his hands. "What's in there?" she asked him with little enthusiasm. The sadness from earlier was not yet forgotten.

"I'm not sure. It was in front of our dorm this morning. It says that it is for you. It's from someone named…well three people actually. They are Yaten, Taiki, and Seiya Kou. I think that I've heard their names somewhere before but I don't…I got it! Aren't they that pop band that was so popular not long ago," he answered, "Oh, I almost forgot. A letter came with it. Here." Trowa handed her the letter as he started trying to figure out how to open the box.

'Hmm…apparently The Lights decided that they wanted to play in the band a bit longer. They were probably girls though. Ahhh…well, doesn't make a difference'. Makkura slowly opened the letter and read.

_Dear Hotaru,_

_We got a message from Sailor Pluto asking us to come take care of you. We know that we don't know you all that well, but we would like to see just what the princess of Saturn is all about. Pluto told us that we would be going to Peacecraft Academy a week after you got this letter._

_Just so you know we will be girls this time around. We prefer to stay girls now that our lesbian high is over (sarcasm). It just isn't as awkward. Do you know what we mean? In case you were wondering, Sailor Pluto is still dead. She just messaged us somehow. Kakyuu-hime will be staying here when we come. So will Taiki. He was assigned to stay with Kakyuu on all of our short missions. We will only be there until something special happens. Pluto wouldn't tell us what, but we will be automatically sent back to our planet when it happens. See you soon!_

_Love,_

_Seiya, Taiki, and Yaten Kou_

_P.S. - Pluto said to give you these. I'm sure that you will appreciate them._

Makkura looked up from the letter as she thought about what was said in it. The starlights would be coming to protect her? What would they protect her from? Pluto couldn't know this by being dead. She had to be alive! With that thought in mind, Makkura's mood brightened tremendously.

"Do you want to open the box?" asked Trowa, bringing her out of her reverie. He was curious as to know what could be in such a large box. It had to be something special.

"I'll open it later. By the way," she said when he was about to leave, "Did you unpack all of my stuff?"

"Yeah, I figured that you would appreciate it since we had planned on getting that done last night," he replied when a slight blush graced his cheeks. Makkura nodded her head in thanks noticing that he was just trying to be nice to her. She internally thought it was sweet, but on the outside, she just showed that she appreciated it like he said.

"I can tell you this Trowa, you have great interior design skills," she said making him blush even more. When he noticed, a slightly sadistic smirk appeared on Makkura's face. It would be so much fun messing with Trowa's head, and she knew it. Oh, god it was just so much fun to mess with people's heads!

A couple of days later, Trowa and Makkura found out where Heero had been hiding, since they hadn't seen him in the past few days. He got caught in Relena's dorm and Relena wouldn't let him move from the dorm area. Talk about a parasite. Trowa and Makkura had made an agreement though, and they would not help him. Maybe he would be driven to lunacy, or maybe what lunacy that was within him would go away. They hoped for the latter. Or just maybe…he would murder her, but they wouldn't stop him, whatever his decision was.

Everyone had just started going with the school schedule and going to all of their classed, well, except for Quatre since he was on a company trip. He was going to be another week since he got nothing done the first few days. That didn't worry Makkura though. Contrasting to what Trowa had thought, people didn't ridicule Makkura for crying. Instead they gave her as much attention as possible assuming that Trowa had made her cry for some reason. So he basically got most of the malice to himself.

Everything was going the way it was supposed to go. Well, except for the malice. Makkura still hadn't opened the crate. She knew what was in it, so she didn't bother. She had also tried to call Setsuna on her time flute, only to find that it was broken. That had brought Makkura into a slight depression. She knew Setsuna was alive, but she didn't know if she'd ever get to see her. So far, things were going okay though. There wasn't much she could do to change it.

Makkura had become fast friends with Trowa. He would talk to her about the things that he remembered in his life, and even told her about the gundams, which she clarified to him that she already knew about them. What was even better was that they had all of their classes together. Makkura still wouldn't tell him much about herself, but she wasn't giving him the cold shoulder, so that counted as friendship to her. She just hoped that things would stay that way. Considering the past, she doubted that it would.

_Thanks to:_

_Taenieia: I continued!_

_Hoshiko Megami: This one isn't as sad as the other one._

_Airlady: I'm glad you think so. I am trying to do something slightly different._

_Lady Light: You got it confused with my other story? That's okay. I'm glad that you liked this one though._

_HarpyGirl91: Glad you think so. That's what I was getting at._


	6. Pain Withheld

_This chappie will probably get us nowhere, but I have a minor case of writers block._

Makkura woke up when she heard a knock on her door. No one except for Trowa was stupid enough to do that, she could say that much. Everyone knew not to mess with her in the mornings on weekends. God, she was tired. She hadn't gotten much sleep in the past few days. She was starting to think that she was turning into an insomniac.

"What the heck do you want!" she yelled through the door as her head went under her pillow. It was too bright. She heard the door open, but she didn't hear anything else. A few more seconds of sleep wouldn't hurt. She was just too tired. She once again awoke, but this time it was because Trowa was shaking her.

"What?" Makkura at last asked after knowing that he wouldn't go away. Trowa could be so stubborn sometimes, contradicting his personality around others quite greatly.

"Some people are here asking for a Hotaru and I know that Quatre called you that when you first got here so I thought it was you," he said all in one breath. Makkura blinked a few times before fully processing what he had said. It all seemed to run together. Even though he said the words with a second apart, it was still a little much to process for Makkura.

"They said Hotaru?" she asked. Makkura knew that she was being dense, but as mentioned before, she was not a morning person, "What were their names?"

"I think that it was Seiya and Yaten or something along that line," Trowa replied just as a black blur flew out of the room. Makkura would be a great runner if she actually had to the will to do it, like she did now.

When that blur arrived at the living room of the dorm, she immediately looked around. There was Seiya and Yaten, right on the couch. Weren't they supposed to be there in a couple days or something? Apparently she had voiced her thoughts because they just blinked at her. She really needed to learn to keep her thoughts inside her head and not on her tongue.

"Ummm… Hotaru… We were supposed to come today. I thought that you were smarter than that!" yelled an exasperated Yaten. The same attitude as last time still coursing through her. She had silver hair that cascaded to her waist and fiery green eyes. The person next to her was none other than Seiya. Black hair hung limp to mid-back as blue eyes sparkled. Where was Taiki again?

Again, it appeared that she voiced her thoughts. "Taiki was assigned to stay with princess Kakyuu if you don't remember," Seiya said with a smirk playing on her lips. This was interesting her greatly. Wasn't Hotaru always the smart, calm, and collected senshi? This was quite amusing.

"Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but why are you calling her Hotaru? Isn't her name Makkura?" asked Trowa as he watched the 'oh so interesting' conversation. The people who knew Makkura were kind of scaring him. They were…a little off to say the least.

"Ummm…because that is her name?" said Seiya with a questioning look. She was always told she was Hotaru, not Mak…whatever the name was.

"No Seiya, that isn't my name. You knew me as Hotaru, but my name is Makkura. The name Hotaru was just a disguise where I lived before," Makkura confirmed as realization dawned on Seiya and Yaten's face. They had only known the fake her, not the real one that was standing, err….sitting…sleeping before them.

"Okay…umm…Makkura? Are you okay?" Yaten asked while testing out the name. Makkura at the time didn't hear. She had fallen asleep on Trowa's shoulder since he sat next to her, which was….0.1 seconds ago, so that was quite motivating. Trowa just sweat dropped at her behavior. Nope, she definitely wasn't a morning person.

Seiya and Yaten were wide eyed when Trowa looked at them. He gave them a questioning look while raising an eyebrow at their behavior. They looked a lot like fish with the way their mouths looked. They looked at Makkura again and saw that she was asleep so they gave an answer, "She doesn't trust anyone enough to be off guard like this in front of them. She doesn't even trust us much, so she must trust you a lot."

Trowa thought for a moment back to the times that they were together, which was almost all the time. "Well, the past three weeks or something along that line, we have been living together, seeing each other everyday without anyone else around and getting to know each other. I open up to her while she listens."

"That is a pretty big step for her. She could care less about most other people. You do have a calming aura though…" Yaten went off into dream land. Someone had a crush that they definitely didn't need.

Seiya sweatdropped, "I think that we will be going. We are in the room next door if you need anything. We'll come back when she is actually able to talk to us without falling asleep." With that, Seiya dragged Yaten out the door, and Yaten still happened to be in lala land.

When they were gone, Trowa thought about the one thing that he hadn't told Makkura, about the day two of his best friends died, and the day Heero and him started to show emotion. It was the first day they had ever seen Heero cry, let alone show emotion.

For the first time since then, Trowa cried. It had been so long, and the emotion of sadness was finally willing itself to be let out. He didn't care who saw, he didn't care what they said, he just had to cry.

Makkura awoke to see Trowa silently crying. Why was Trowa crying was the only question on her mind. "Trowa, what's wrong?" asked Makkura in a small voice, seeing as she was not used to people crying. She had never been involved with someone who was crying. It kind of scared her.

Trowa gave her a startled look but quickly calmed down. Trowa debated in his head whether to tell her or not, and found the answer to be yes. He trusted her, so there was no reason not to. "Well…"

_Trowa started the story. You all probably know who the people are. Sorry to their fans. Thanks to all those who reviewed! 7 reviews!_

_HarpyGirl91: I was hoping people would like that I put in the stars!_

_Taeniaea: I finally updated. I was procrastinating!_

_Hoshiko Megami: Glad you like!_

_Airlady: Thanks_

_Lady Light: okaaayyyyyy…_

_Sakuracheery2: Thanks for the praise!_

_HeavyMetal-Chic: I was hoping people would think so!_


	7. The Story

_I decided to update so here!_

"Well, my friends, Duo and Wufeiwere supposed to go into the outer reaches of space on a rocket ship. Everyone knows that gundams are safer, but they couldn't use them because the cockpits were so small. Right when they were about to board the rocket, it took off. They were supposed to be on that rocket, but they were fighting over who was to go in first," whispered Trowa with a hint of pain in his voice. This was the only topic in his life that he had never talked about. He hadn't talked about his childhood, but there were no memories of that. "They didn't know that the rocket had a set time, but it did. It went of right when they decided to go in together. That was the only moment in all of their lives, that they had stopped fighting. I just hope that they don't miss out on much in life. I know how much they wanted to do certain things."

"Well…I hope things like this stop plaguing you. I wish I could have helped," Makkura knew that it was a weak excuse, but it was worth a shot. Trowa smiled at her knowing that she had not dealt with this before. At least she was trying. It helped a little, but it still wouldn't go away. He should have helped them somehow.

"Don't worry about it. It isn't something people should try to make right, especially you," Trowa saw a flash of pain go through her eyes before it faded away to the coldness that he rarely saw. He quickly told his reason though, "You have your own problems." Makkura's façade faltered as she gave a small smile. Trowa always knew how to make her feel better, even if it was only a little bit.

Trowa got up and went to his room, as Makkura headed to hers. They both needed some thinking time, even if it was for different reasons. Makkura needed to decide whether or not to tell Trowa of her past, while he just needed to think about his.

Makkura headed into her room and put the CD player on as loud as she could. At the moment, the Dresden Dolls were playing. "…and you might say it's self indulgent, you might say it's self-destructive, but I might say it's more productive than if I were to be happy…" This song seemed to fit what she used to do. She used to be a cutter. She had quit a couple years ago, but only because she was almost caught. She has thought about continuing a few weeks ago, but when she met Trowa, things just got better from there. There was one thing she hated about the fact that she used to cut though; the scars would never go away. She had large Xs all over her arms, and even a few on her chest and legs. She could never tell him of what she did.

Makkura lay in bed until her mind was threatening to go to sleep, so she got up and went to get something to eat from the kitchen. She needed something with a lot of sugar to calm her nerves.

Trowa heard music coming from Makkura's room while he thought. They didn't sound too good, but the walls were so thick that they blocked out almost every song that there was going on in the dorms. She must have had it loud.

'Why is it that Quatre isn't back yet? What is going on? He keeps postponing coming back here. I don't understand anymore…' were the thoughts of Trowa as he drifted off to sleep as the _Jeep Song_ blasted through the walls. He heard something else, but just decided to ignore it.

Not long after, Trowa awoke to a knock on the door. Trowa rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he left his room knowing that no one would be at the door. He always got a knock at his door when it was time to have dinner. It was Makkura every time. If he didn't come the first time, she would wait a few minutes and come back again.

Trowa saw that Makkura was waiting for him at the table as usual. What seemed off though, was that there was no dinner. There was always food, but not today. Makkura must not have felt like cooking anything.

"We don't have any food to make dinner. Relena forced Heero to raid our food so she could make him a nice dinner," Makkura mumbled just loud enough for Trowa to hear her as she rolled her eyes. "Dinner will be late tonight. I'm going to go get some food from the grocery store so I can make dinner. You can go back to sleep if you want."

With that said, Makkura walked out the door. Trowa knew that he could go if he wanted, but he was dead tired right now for some reason. He just went back to his room and fell asleep. He woke up when he got a certain call though. That call though, threw the next day upside down.

Makkura drove the motorcycle that she had originally brought with her to the sleazy end of town. She knew that she shouldn't be here at this time, but the grocery store here was the only one that had what she wanted. She wanted fish, and all of the others only had fish that was already cooked. That fish always made her sick, so she had to make it on her own, and she wasn't waiting till tomorrow. She knew she was being stupid and stubborn, but she didn't care.

While Makkura raced down the streets, hoping that she could get in and out fast, she saw a bunch of gang members to the side of the road. When she went past them, they all took a strong notice and grabbed their own bikes and went after her. They had better bikes than her, so they easily surrounded her and kept getting closer until one was on her tail, one on both of her sides, and one in front of her. Their customized bikes made it impossible for her to move. There was no way for her to escape this so she just quietly followed trying not to cause an accident. There would be even more complications if she did.

The group of motorcycles finally stopped in a secluded alley. Makkura was flung off her bike and into the wall when the bike behind her rammed into her as hard as it could. Things were not going to go smoothly. Being thrown into the wall, made her vision blurry and her arm practically snapped in half.

"Hey, baby, wanna have a little bit of fun with me?" one of them asked in a slurred voice. He was obviously drunk, like the other bikers. He slowly advanced on Makkura, but Makkura kicked him in the head and knocked him out. The other three gang members were not happy so they surrounded her, again. She was pushed up against a wall with no escape. You could never know what drunken people would do, especially ones that were twice her size. Also, ones that wouldn't hesitate in killing her…or worse…

"You shouldn't have done that. Now your punishment is going to be even worse. C'mon guys, lets show her just what we can do," said what appeared to be the leader. All of them made the circle slowly smaller. One pushed her against the wall with her feet dangling above the ground. She was being held by her neck, while slowly suffocating. The other tow started to punch her in the stomach making her vision go in and out as it brightened and dimmed enough to make her dizzier than she already was. She started to get really scared when she felt them start to touch her in places where she would never let anyone go, but there was nothing she could do. As her vision faded, she felt herself fall to the ground ungracefully. The last thing she saw was Yaten and Seiya in front of her, protecting her from what could have happened.

"Hello…" said Trowa into the phone. He wasn't in the mood for talking, but the caller id said that it was the hospital phone calling.

"Trowa, you got to come to the hospital right now. Makkura was hurt," said a voice into the phone. Trowa didn't care who called, he just had to get there.

All of Trowa's senses were immediately flashing red as he was told this. He hung up the phone without saying anything, and just ran to the front of the school and got on his bike without putting on a helmet. He was going to the hospital where he knew she would be, considering there was only one.

_Does anyone besides me know who the Dresden Dolls are? I hope that you guys liked it. It took a slight turn from what it was before, but I was in a slightly off mood. I finally added more detail to this chapter though._

_HarpyGirl91: Glad you think so._

_Hoshiko Megami: Thanx!_


	8. Parents of the Past

_That took forever to edit. I changed one of the scenes around, just so you don't get confused._

Makkura looked around the white room she was in. There was nothing remotely dark in the room. Makkura couldn't stand the brightness so she did the only thing she could do. She closed her eyes, but there was something or rather someone in the room that she hadn't noticed.

"Makkura, are you awake?" a quivering voice asked. She noticed that there was a scared tone to the voice. It sounded familiar, but she couldn't figure out who it was.

Makkura opened her eyes again and came face to face with her brother Quatre. Why was Quatre here? Wasn't he on a business trip? Apparently the look on her face told all. "Sorry. You have been asleep for about a week now. Seiya and Yaten had called Trowa who called me. Trowa is currently sleeping for the first time in a week, so I don't want to wake him up. Seiya and Yaten are sleeping too. I told them that I would stand and see if you were going to wake up today."

Makkura gave Quatre a look like he was crazy and was going to say something when she found she couldn't say anything. Makkura was starting to panic again. Even if she didn't show it on the outside, inside she was a nervous wreck. That was right when Trowa walked in. He looked quite tired and kind of sick.

"Makkura! When did you wake up?" he asked in a voice way to hyper for the way he looked. I held worry too, but he seemed to have gotten slightly high off of some sugar so he could stay up. That was sweet, but he should have done what was best for him, not her, at least that's what she thought. He would have never agreed with what Makkura thought.

Makkura was ready to laugh but again, no sound came out. Makkura looked around helplessly and finally went into full panic mode. She basically was trying to scream her head off but no sound came out. Now she was showing it on the outside.

Trowa and Quatre gave her an odd look, before realization finally dawned on their faces, "Makkura, in the attack your windpipes were cut off, so your voice will be gone for a little while."

Makkura calmed down slightly, as a thoughtful face came on. 'How am I going to talk to people?'

As if reading her mind, Quatre pulled out a bronze 3" screen type thing. "This will help you talk. I will automatically pick up your brainwaves since they are so different from everyone else's. The only problem is that not all of your thoughts will go on it."

Makkura gave a relieved sigh, but only Trowa took notice to it. He decided to bring it up when Quatre wasn't around. He was sure that she didn't want many people to know her thoughts. What were her thoughts though?

Makkura was safely in her dorm later that day. It was safe to say that she could walk to class, but could not do as much. It was problematic, but the teachers would just have to learn to deal with it. That is just what the teachers did…not do.

"Makkura!" her English teacher yelled, "Answer me when I talk to you!" It seemed apparent that she didn't understand the fact that Makkura couldn't speak to save her life. Makkura just gave the old teacher a dirty look as she passed her screen over to Trowa who read it and started to laugh. It was asking how the teacher can understand English literature when she definitely couldn't understand the language.

"That is it! Both of you go to the principals office now!" It was now very apparent that this teacher understood nothing. Besides, the principal told them not to come to her office because she was busy. Her form of busy though, was attempting to kiss Heero, or being a seductress, which was fine by them. Like they said before, they wouldn't help, they would just wait for someone to crack.

Trowa voiced his ideas of what they should do for the rest of the time that they had. They had lunch and then a free period after that class anyway. "Why don't we just go to that café down the street? I heard that they have great music and performers," he asked with a slight blush on his face. Makkura gave him an odd look before finally handing the screen to him.

'Is this a date or something?' was all that was on the screen. She had a slight blush on her face as he read this, but his was getting darker by the second. This was turning out to be very awkward.

"Actually, yeah, it is kind of a date…" he mumbled being that beet red self that he was. It was funny, Makkura expected her brother to do this…maybe Trowa just picked up the habit from him.

Makkura just gave a small smile and lead him out of the school. Trowa was taken by surprise but quickly fell in step beside her. It became apparent after a few minutes that she didn't know where the café was, so he grabbed her hand and pulled her in the opposite direction.

"We are going to a place that someone told me to look at. It was supposed to be a great place for eating and just entertainment," Trowa said attempting to make this less awkward. They finally turned down a small street and went into a small restaurant with the title of 'Violins of the Race'. When he looked inside, he saw race car parts on the walls and a keyboardist, a singer, and a violinist playing.

While inside, he didn't notice that Makkura wasn't behind him but right by the stage, which was where the artists were playing. One had rich teal hair that curled slightly and went to her shoulders. She was somewhat tall, and had beautiful teal eyes. The other performer was a tall woman in men's clothing, though you couldn't really tell her height because she was sitting behind the piano. She had short sandy blonde hair and blue eyes. The final one had such dark green hair that it was almost black. The garnet colored eyes placed on her tanned skin seemed to resonate around the room. She was taller than both of the other women

Makkura just stared in amazement, and it made Trowa wonder who these people were. The love in Makkura's eyes was quite new to him, and he wished to know. Her eyes weren't hard or cold anymore, they were truly the window to her soul.

_Kinda short, I know, but this was as soon as I could get it out._

_Thanks to:_

_Airlady: Sorry that I didn't explain that, but it wasn't an important part. There was just a certain type of fish from the east coast that they had that others didn't._

_Taeniaea: Thanks._

_HeavyMetal-Chic: Happy to know that you like it._


	9. Dedication

_Anyway, the songs in here are by Creed and Avril Lavigne. I skipped most of the chorus' in Avril's song cuz' I didn't feel like figuring out which one was the chorus. Also, actually REVIEW THIS TIME! I was really ticked cuz' forty people read this chapter when it was posted before and none reviewed. So this time, kindly review._

Trowa finally noticed what was going on around him and walked up to Makkura. He was about to ask her something when he noticed her singing the words to the song as well, so he listened.

…_Our share of ups and downs,  
oh, how quickly life can turn around,  
in an instant,  
it feels so good to reunite,  
within yourself, and within your mind,  
Let's find peace there._

When you are with me, I'm free,  
I'm careless, I believe,  
Above all the others, we'll fly,  
this brings tears to my eyes

I just want to say hello again,  
I just want to say hello again,

When you are with me, I'm free,  
I'm careless, I believe,  
Above all the others, we'll fly,  
this brings tears to my eyes

_When you are with me, I'm free,  
I'm careless, I believe,  
Above all the others, we'll fly,  
this brings tears to my eyes_

The tempo slowed slightly to a mellower beat as the chorus played. The song got Trowa to think, 'Could they be singing this for Makkura, whoever they are…' Then the chorus repeated, only louder and in a way that made everything seem perfect. Trowa just had no other way to explain it.

_My sacrifice,_

_I just want to say hello again,_

_I just want to say hello again!_

_My sacrifice…  
_

With the final words of the song ending, everyone burst into applause except for Makkura. Makkura knew there was something wrong, Coronus wouldn't let them just come back from the dead to see her. There must be something wrong. There had to be…

"Thanks for coming everyone! We have one more song to sing for today. This is dedicated to Makkura Winner of the Winner family!" yelled the singer, who was the green haired lady.

_Ah ah ah ah  
Ah ah ah ah  
I'm giving up on everything  
Because you messed me up  
Don't know how much you  
Screwed it up  
You never listened  
That's just too bad  
Because I'm moving on  
I won't forget  
You were the one that was wrong  
I know I need to step up and be strong  
Don't patronize me  
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah_

Have you forgotten  
Everything that I wanted  
Do you forget it now  
You never got It  
Do you get it now  
Yea yea yea yea yea   
Ah ah ah ah  
Ah ah ah ah  
Gotta get away  
There's no point in thinking about yesterday  
It's too late now  
It won't ever be the same  
We're so different now  
Yea yea yea yea yea

_I know I wanna run away  
I know I wanna run away  
Run away  
If only I could run away  
If only I could run away  
Run away  
I told you waht i wanted I  
I told you waht i wanted  
What I wanted  
But I was forgotten  
I won't be forgotten  
Never Again_

Forgotten  
Yeah yeah yeah  
Forgotten  
Yeah yeah yeah  
Forgotten  
Yeah yeah yeah  
Forgotten  
Yeah yeah yeah

These lyrics confused Trowa even more. Forgotten? What did it have to do with Makkura? All of his thoughts were interrupted when he saw Makkura was running backstage. Trowa quickly followed her there. What he saw surprised him greatly. Makkura was crying into the arms of the sandy haired woman while the other two hugging the two of them.

"Ahem," Trowa cleared his throat to get their attention. "I'm truly sorry to break up the moment, but how do you know Kura-chan?" he said in a slightly softer voice than intended.

Makkura gave him a surprised look because she had never heard him use that nickname but just shrugged it off. She had bigger things to worry about, like the older women making fun of her, and killing Trowa.

"My name is Haruka Tenoh and you are the one that we should ask that!" the sandy haired woman retorted. She would not tolerate _her _child hanging around boys as rude as this one. (A/N: I know he isn't rude, but anyway…)

Makkura sweat dropped and decided that it was time to break up the fight that was bound to happen. "He is my best friend here Haruka-papa. He is the only one that showed any amount of kindness to me besides my brother, who only showed kindness because he had to."

"He's a boy though!" Haruka argued lamely. Makkura sighed at the answer and gave Haruka cold glare. Haruka knew better than to argue when Makkura got mad.

"Makkura? You know that you just spoke, right?" asked Trowa in an amazed voice.

"Oh, yeah," was Makkura's reply without much surprise or any other emotion. Trowa knew it would set in later though.

The green haired woman was introduced as Setsuna while the teal haired woman was introduced as Michiru.

Setsuna cleared her throat to get everyone's attention, "As you know Makkura, Coronus didn't let us go just to see you. There was…"

Setsuna was cut off by Makkura as she slapped her hard! "DO YOU WANT MY ONLY FRIEND TO THINK THAT I'M A FREAK! MY LIFE IS ALREADY HARD ENOUGH WITHOUT MY ONLY FRIEND HATING ME!"

Setsuna stared impassively at Makkura, totally ignoring the sting from the slap. "Your friend would not truly be your friend if he didn't accept this."

Makkura gave a hurt look as she ran out of the restaurant. Things were getting worse. She thought things would go nicely with them back, but things were ending up worse. And the words the inner senshi had called her, were becoming true. She truly was becoming a monster.

Things were slightly different with Trowa and the other outer senshi. Michiru was crying at what her once sweet little 'Hotaru' had done to Setsuna while Haruka tried to comfort her. Setsuna was just trying to figure out what was going on.

"Ummm…. I'm sorry Miss Setsuna about Makkura's behavior. I've never seen her that angry, at anything."

"It's fine. She was so angry because she was afraid that she would lose her only friend because of the dark secrets in her past," Setsuna replied with a grave look.

"How could my little Hotaru do something like that?" Michiru cried to herself.

"Hotaru…" Trowa said thoughtfully, "Isn't that what Seiya and Yaten called her?" I was more of a question for himself but the others heard as well.

"**They're **here!" Haruka practically screamed.

"Yes Haruka. I told them to protect our child until we could. They should be gone now though. They were to leave when we came back."

Haruka seemed to calm down a bit, but was glaring a Setsuna like there was no tomorrow. Then something hit her, "What are we going to do about Hotaru?"

"All we can do is wait. If there is one thing that I know about her, it's that does things on her own time," Trowa inserted that small bit of information. He knew a lot more about her than he let on most of the time.

_There you go. For all those starlight fans out there I'm sorry that they only appeared very briefly, but I couldn't think of anything to do with them. In your reviews, give me feedback and stuff. Tell me, should I bring Duo back just for the heck of it. Wufei is going to stay dead, but should I bring the braided baka back?_

_Thanks to:_

_Taeniaea: I updated finally…_

_HarpyGirl91: Sorry for updating slowly, but almost no one is reviewing._

_HeavyMetal-Chic: Glad you think so._

_Airlady: Her troubles are only just beginning._


	10. Truth Be Told

_I'm starting to think that people hate this story. Do you think I should just quit? I'm trying really hard, but no one reviews to tell me they like it. I even posted the chapter twice and only got one review. Until I get an answer, this is most likely the last chapter._

Makkura was hidden in the few trees that were in the park, just sitting on the branches and silently crying while mulling over everything that happened. Why did she have to slap Setsuna? Why did the inners have to betray her? Why was Setsuna trying to get her to lose her only friend? One by one, question by question, thought by though, her mind became cloudier. No one had told her what to do in this situation, because the probably have never been in it themselves.

Makkura slowly climbed down from the trees and headed back to her dorm. Trowa would be back in a little while. He would ask her questions, which she would need to answer to keep his trust. There was nothing she could do to stop it. She might as well make her life even more of a living hell. She had everything to lose, and nothing to gain. That seemed like a fair enough deal to everyone else, but not to her.

Makkura reached her dorm room around eight and headed to her room. She might as well blast music until Trowa gets back, most likely with the rest of the outers. Makkura quickly chose the CD which ended up being SR-71. It didn't fit the mood, but she didn't care. She didn't want it to.

Not long after she started the CD, she heard the door open and close. It was time to face the music, and it wasn't nice sounding music either. Makkura unplugged the CD player and headed towards the living room. There she saw only Trowa. Where was Michiru? Haruka? Setsuna? Wouldn't they want to make sure that she told him?

Answering her unasked question Trowa said, "They thought that if you decided to tell me, that you would prefer it to be just the two of us. I hope that's okay." He said it in a quiet tone as if he was uncertain. Of course he was uncertain, he didn't know if he could trust her anymore.

"Trowa, I'm ready to tell you," Makkura said with a blank face. Maybe he would be the one to actually accept her, or maybe she was telling herself a bunch of bull. Either way, she couldn't choose.

Makkura closed her eyes as she readied herself to talk about her past. There was so much more than the senshi, oh so much more. "Where do you want me to start?"

"I would say whatever you're comfortable, but you aren't comfortable with any of it, so lets say the beginning," Trowa answered while doing a crummy job of lightening the mood.

"Okay, you know that Quatre is my brother. Anyway, I was with him and the rest of the Winners until I was 8 years old. I was ignored in the Winner household and avoided like I had the plague. I never lived happily with them. On my eighth birthday, which no one celebrated, I was taken by Setsuna to a place called the time gates. There, she told me about traveling dimensions, and left me in a new one. This one was filled with magic, and not machines. I was taken in by an adoption center and sent to a foster family immediately. They abused me like there was no tomorrow, and crushed many of my bones, which are now made off an indestructible alloy that makes it impossible to break the bones around it. When they died, I was taken in by a Shuichi Tomoe. He didn't abuse me, but he implanted something in my body…" Makkura stopped there, afraid to continue.

Trowa gave Makkura a meaningful look. He was sad that he couldn't protect her in those times. He couldn't stand having her hurt, at least when he couldn't help it. Trowa wouldn't do anything to hurt Makkura on purpose, she had to know that.

"He implanted the seed of a demon, a demon by the name of Mistress Nine, but she needed a special type of life force from humans to live, so he gave them to her, killing many in the process. When she finally had enough, she took full control of my body. She had always had some control, but never enough to take over my mind forever. I almost destroyed the world because of her, but Serena, one of my old friends, saved me. My foster parents wanted to kill me at the time because of what I was, but now they are the only ones that accept me. There is one thing though, Mistress Nine isn't dead. No, she is living in the back of my mind. As long as I have the memory of her, she will never die. She may not be able to take control, but she is there…" that was all Makkura could say. There was no point in telling him the rest. There was nothing as bad as what she just told him, and he wouldn't care about the rest anyway. He already figured out that her friends had totally disregarded her and thrown her out. He also understood that they were out to get her, but he would never fully understand what was to happen.

"Makkura," Trowa started. Makkura waited for his rejection, but it never came, instead, she was wrapped in a warm embrace, one that she never wanted to break. It was broken though, not because he wished to speak, but because of what he wished to do. He captured her lips in his as he poured all of his emotions into it. This was his way of saying he accepted her, and more. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip asking for entrance, which she gladly gave. No, he wasn't the kind of person who would reject her for that. He was so much more…

_It's short, but that was the best I could do. I suck at romantic scenes, so don't expect a lot of them. ALSO, TELL ME IF YOU WANT DUO BACK! I have a way I could bring him back, but I would like to know if you want him back. I asked last time, but no one answered._

_Thanks to my one and only reviewer:_

_**Airlady: Thank You!**_


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